ever google your unborn child's prospective name?

right now we are choosing between:



















and:







(presumably the gentleman in the middle)

i'm leaning towards the namesake of the shirtless fellow.

incidentally this is our daughter's name's rightful owner:

facebook friend triangle

i've been putting this post off because it's about facebook. and how do i make a single concise post about facebook? is it weak of me to admit that i love this social network thing? that its rise is perfectly timed with my new father shut-in phase each night from 8pm on? baby to bed, boot up laptop, fb!

so i'd like to frame this post around the 'facebook friend triangle'. i googled for an article on this concept but couldn't find one. maybe i'm making a scoop here? anyway a facebook friend triangle is when you make friends with someone and start snooping. are they fat? married? dating the opposite gender since the last time i saw them? and finally you root through their friends. and whammo they know another one of your friends and you never knew it. small small world.

i just made my fourth facebook friend triangle.

1. brian (a friend of a friend i met at a party) knows julio (who i work with) because they went to architecture school in pr together.

2. csl (in my triathlon club) knows cdb (who was my wife's roommate who moved to nyc the first week of september, 2001) because they both have written for the nytimes.

3. bethany (my wife's former coworker) knows sarah (my sister's old soccer teammate) as a fellow teacher at her brooklyn high school.

4. and candice (first person i met at virginia tech during summer orientation) who knows chris (who i've been friends with since i was 7) because she loves to dance to his dirtybird records dj sounds.

anyone else felt this phenomenon?

Your Luv-in Rev.Vin

my grandfather, a retired minister, puts out a mini message or two each week. the same way he has for at least forty years. thanks grandpa and happy new year all!

Everything you need to know you can learn from Noah’s Ark...

1. Don’t miss the boat


2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.


3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the boat.


4. Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old someone may ask you to do something big.


5. Don’t listen to critics. Just get on with the job that needs to be done.


6. Build your future on high ground.
   
7. For safety’s sake travel in pairs.


8. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.


9. When you’re stressed, float awhile.


10. Remember – the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Ps: lori and i watched war of the worlds for the first time on saturday night which lead to our 'escape plan' talk. (one of the privileges of living in nyc is having such a plan...i've already had to walk home to lori from manhattan to brooklyn twice since i moved here in 2001. no cell phones neither!)

so here are my adam's ark picks, I'll be keeping them in my desk drawer at work:

• a meeting place


• crank radio with cell phone charger and flashlight


• that old pair of running shoes you were going to throw out


• a water bottle and cliff bar (takes three hours to walk home)

i heart heart

last friday night i cried while watching "love actually". it's a horrible movie (sorry jen) that pulls together a bunch of successful british actors - obviously in need of a little personal fund raising for the holidays - into a sappy love story that happens on and around christmas day in london. the brits, according to the "love actually" script have to act truthfully on their feelings for the christmas holiday. all those jive adult romances had me about to push the stop button on the remote (kiera knightley can go take her one look pout-y face and suck it). but enter the twelve year old kid (who's recently lost his mother for good rom-com measure) with a crush on his classmate who learns the drums, performs in the pageant, and ducks airport security to profess his undying puppy love to her and i'm all teary-d up. guess it's the dad in me.

this friday i'm pretty much back there. pass the tissues. we the employees of d'ner architects are participating in the "letters to santa claus" gift giving program this year. a big thanks to jacky who for three years has tried to get the office to switch from its money grabbing in house secret santa exchange (hello fellow professional would you like a cheap gift from another professional...let's agree not to talk about it afterward ok?) to something with a little more heart.

so jacky grabbed a stack of letters from the post office and now we're getting down to business. my little man, aneury, wrote a thoughtful, convincing letter asking for warm clothes (fellow professionals...do you ever recall wishing upon a star for a warm sweater when you were ten?) for him and his older brother and sister. his dad left them last year and his mom, who's sick, busts her butt just hard enough to cover rent and food for the four of them. so not much left for christmas time. but i'm not crying over the sadness of their situation alone.

i get teary when you see someone who's still got a warm heart in a cold dark situation. this little man somehow heard of the program, wrote a thoughtful letter, and put it out there. at ten i bet he doesn't believe in santa, but he believes in something. the letter isn't desperate, and it's polite avoiding one possible stance which would be, "yo, salaried man who feels like giving up 2 hours pay, you owe me!". and yes, i saw 30 rock last night where they covered the potentially fraudulent angle to this program. i guess it takes some heart on the donor's part to believe the stuff is really going to a kid in need and not a guy with an ebay account.

i don't know if you all have felt it at all, but this fall i've felt such a dynamic shift in my community (i'd even draw that circle big enough to include the country) away from consumptive behavior to conservative. but there's also a sense of reality that makes you realize you don't have it as bad as that "lady on the radio". when we see the bottom fall out i guess it's natural to look down and see who is still below you.

the darkness is always there in good times and bad but this year i'm appreciative of the the changed perspective that let's me see into it with a little more clarity and concern. even more thankful to have felt the warmth in Aneiry's heart come my way.

And if that sappy post isn't the start of "love actually: the sequel" i don't know what is. merry christmas all...be good!

an electric car for my birthday

my friend mack (in facebook and in reality) posted a great link to google's archives of all of the popular science magazines. i immediately went to november 1975's issue...the month i was born. the ads for manly smoking cigarettes (already carrying a surgeon general's warning back then) and sexy air mattresses takes me back a bit. but the article pictured above seems pretty 2008. i'll save my grumbles for the damnation i wish upon the big 3 for another post.

it's anybody's race

just home from a "day at the racetrack" (never gets old saying that) i was inspired to make a quick post. first to say thanks and happy birthday to j + j. i missed last year's jam, but these guys have a way of putting the group into some superb outer borough action. today we went to the aqueduct track in queens.

i knew going there not to expect southern belles in jewels balancing a mint julip as they walked down the steps to their box. i knew that this was a down and out type of track. but i was really pleasantly surprised - for a few reasons. yeah it's seen better days, but the people there are having a blast. english is spoken but not like i do. crazy accents ranging from all over nyc, to the islands, asian and spanish too. of note, the place is all dudes (except for the lovely ladies we were rolling with).

it's got all of the vices of any other gambling establishment (i can reference casinos, jai lai - an old connecticut thing, and those dumpy off track betting places all over town). expect to breath a lot of tobacco smoke, fuel up on greasy over priced food, and watch guys drink out of celebration and defeat. either way a percentage of the winnings comes back to the house bar...or does it?

the aqueduct doesn't charge admission and the security was light. you drink and smoke pretty much wherever you want to. and you can sneak in booze too (sadly we didn't). it sounds simple but these little bits of lawlessness in a town that's always under such surveillance and colored coded fear reports...these little bits of lawlessness made my heart sing.

we (the guys in skinny jeans, dark rimmed glasses, campers, and pata-gucci coats) stuck out big time but no one bothered us. we bet one dollar at a time, once every twenty minutes, and it felt good and safe. usually gambling places put me on edge. i even managed to pay for my $10 chili dog and a beer by betting on #8 Alexandro in the sixth race. (note to parents, whenever a horse shares your kid's namesake...let it ride!)

the other non parents in the group were headed home for a nap, then east village dining, then LES drinking. amazing what those youngsters pack into an evening...party down, my friends, while your biological clocks are silently being wound up inside you.

anyway. what a day. what a city. where else but nyc could you hide a racetrack, a bunch of horses, indoor smoking, a thousand locals, and a few hipsters?Photos courtesy of j. nordberg on flickr

should we 'let the guy smoke'?

i recently found out that our president elect is a smoker - i was probably the last to know. the news came to me when i heard michael kinsley on brian lehrer this morning:



political columnist kinsley just wrote a piece in the washington post titled "let the guy smoke"
like the title implies he thinks that if obama needs smoking as a crutch while he leads us through war, recession, and whatever else the times throw at him then no biggie. he also wonders how obama gets away with smoking when mccain was predicted to croak because his skin cancer might return. is obama still in a honeymoon period with the media? why not give him hell for smoking? isn't that what we do nowadays as part of the nicotine fiend witch hunt?

i speak from experience.

i think it was my 12th birthday when my mom quit smoking for me. i'd always given her a hard time (as much or more out of my own embarrassment than out of concern for her health and longevity) for her smoking. on again and off again quitting ever since (back on as of the thanksgiving break) it sounds like obama and my mom may have something in common. apparently obama has never said he didn't smoke. he honestly answers questions about it and talks about chewing nicorette gum and sticking on patches - my mom would do the same. but i somehow doubt (as does kinsley) that obama is really going to quit. seriously, if you had been a smoker on a regular day would you find inspiration to quit while running a fierce campaign on little sleep or food without your hypocrisy police (michelle and the kids) nearby?

so when i say it bothers me that obama smokes is that bother out of concern for his health? or is it a concern for the image (weakness in failing to quit) that his smoking projects on him as leader of our country? how can the guy talk about installing a basketball court in the white house when he's blackening his lungs? to say nothing about my concerns for his ability to crack down on the tobacco biz. kinsley warns us not to worry about obama's health. he points out that the odds are in favor of obama dying of assassination (u.s. presidents don't have a good track record) not smoking. as if that wouldn't cause you to light up to calm your nico-nerves!

so to obama (and my mama) while i wish you'd quit you should know that my concerns are likely more for my health than yours. take my scolding with a grain of salt (as if you weren't already!) and i'll try a little harder to just 'let you guys smoke.'